My father was a bomber pilot in WW2 and he used to say to me that if I ever got caught in turbulent times, I needed to firstly ‘aviate’ – keep the plane flying (which today includes ourselves, our families and our jobs). Secondly, ‘navigate’ – knowing where to go next or what to do next. Thirdly, ‘communicate’ - especially with those who may be able to assist or join us on our journey. So let’s have a look at each of these life-saving priorities.
Priority one – Keeping yourself, your family and your job ‘flying’.
Jacinda Ardern, New Zealand’s PM, calls this your ‘immediate bubble’ – that is, those in your home (including yourself) who need to be absolutely protected and supported. This may require you to think about the key roles you need to play such as partner, parent, carer, coach (for home schooling), organiser and friend. But we may also have an extended bubble outside our immediate family which may include other family members, grandchildren, friends, colleagues and neighbours who are also in need of our caring and support. For many, keeping our jobs flying and our finances from crashing (in these VUCA times) will also be a huge challenge. Working productively from home, surrounded by children, partners (many who will also be trying to negotiate VUCA internet connections) plus family pets, is no mean feat! A little thing that can become a big thing is how we use time and spaces (rooms) most productively; for example, turning bedrooms into studies as well as sleeping spaces. This is where some creative navigation is often needed.
Priority two – Navigating where we need to go and working out what to do next.
Here is where a little simple strategic (scenario) planning can come in handy. For example, as conditions change, what threats and opportunities are likely to emerge and what core physical and mental health, safety and emotional needs should underpin key judgment calls? One advantage of scenario planning is that the process identifies a range of alternative options and actions. Having options tends to increase our internal locus of control (compared with having no options which tends to generate a sense of helplessness). Brainstorming how to respond to evolving situations allows us to turn possible threats into opportunities (a key leadership capability), or the ability to ‘pivot’ using management speak. One Qantas pilot I know who has been stood down has decided to paint the family home, a project he had budgeted many thousands of dollars for a tradesman to undertake. Another person has enrolled in an online graduate diploma in risk management to boost their future employability. Recently the ABC told the story of a thoracic surgeon in the UK who is retraining as an ICU nurse in order to help manage critically ill Covid-19 patients suffering respiratory failure, a truly practical pivot.
Navigating can also apply to working out what we can do and achieve on an hourly, daily and weekly basis. With the power of little things in mind, jot down on a to-do-it list those micro tasks that have a positive outcome and which you can get the satisfaction of ticking off. Our home desktop computer mouse suddenly died and refused to be resurrected, despite checking batteries and drivers etc. I then remembered having been given a spare mouse many years ago so I was able to put in a new battery, connect it up and bingo, away it went. Yay! (especially for an older baby-boomer!)
It’s interesting to note that purposeful activities which tend to lead to a secondary goal, where something is produced or achieved (for example improved, restored, fixed, adapted or enhanced), or where a service is provided, tend to generate a sense of achievement, and mitigate feeling of uselessness and especially depression.
Priority three – Communicating.
This involves reaching out and connecting with others, both to receive assistance from, and also to give support to. Inside our immediate home bubble, little things our loved ones do can often cause tensions or ‘pinches’, especially around who’s doing what. For example, “You mentioned we’re now not getting laundry done outside (due to our social isolation plan). You were going to put things in the washing machine and hang them out etc. But now I find all my clothes are clean but wrinkled!” Now some pinches, if they keep building up can develop into crunches, so it’s often useful to set up a process for clarifying roles, especially to deal with overlaps (“I thought you were going to do that!”) or underlaps, where some things fall through the cracks and no one picks them up, for example, the ironing.
One old but very useful technique is to share with each other what we need to do more of or start doing, same of or keep doing or less of or stop doing in order to keep the plane (the household) flying as smoothly as possible.
Another useful way to check on how members of our home/work bubbles are feeling, is to ask each other what has made them glad, sad or mad over the last week. The important process here is not to jump straight in and try to problem-solve, especially the ‘sads’ and ‘mads’, but to just listen and acknowledge how someone is really feeling. In many cases they will be able to sort out what to do, if anything, and why they’re feeling the way they do. The great restorative power of listening is the understanding that those around them truly know and appreciate what is going on for them. I’m also amazed how deep listening can often switch negative feelings into positive ones.
And, coming back to the power of little things, it’s remarkable how little gestures, like thanking someone who lets you change traffic lanes, a good morning offered with a smile as you walk by two metres apart, or shopping for food for an elderly neighbour, can make a world of difference.
In doing things for others we are in fact doing things for ourselves.
As Robert Brault suggests “Enjoy the little things as one day you may look back and realise they were the big things.”
Humphrey Armstrong
Reference: The above includes selected extracts from the Guidebook Connecting the Dots; How to make the most of your later-life carer and retirement options by Humphrey Armstrong. (available through Peoplemax)
If you enjoyed this post and would like to read more like it - please sign-up for our newsletter below: